More confusion

I do not know if it was the news, or the end of the holidays, or even a up-coming flu, but I was all day in bed, I feel pain in the muscles and a huge tiredness that does let me to stand up. Today, I had a call from the Oncologist from the Royal Free, he wants to see me again this Friday, as he spoke with the colleges from the Trials in the UCL, and now wants to tell me something else. To be honest, and I think I never said that, but today I lost all the hopes, so I do not give to much importance for the meeting next Friday. I am already feed up with all this. If it needs to be, let it be smoothly and let me find the beauty of this.