Buckingham Palace

Olivia today had the freedom to have her first big political statement and celebrate the Queen's Jubilee at the tea party in her nursery, Her attitude was also for the first time a big political clash with father's ideas as I never felt very attracted for the Kings and Queens. But apparently she did enjoy very much, she comeback all happy with flags and crown and did not stop to speak about Buckingham Palace. Tomorrow starts a long weekend that will bring out all the Monarchist from this country, I think if I was working, for a weekend I might turned up Monarchic as well.

I was supposed to have tomorrow an urgent appointment in the Hospital due to the skin, but they did not call me, so this will be postponed for the next week. In that way I am more happy because we can go to the healing centre instead, the Harry Edwards Sanctuary. For once we do not need to weak up early to go to the Hospital.

Hot Dog

This was not one of my best days, not because of any special reason, but for all the small reasons of the World. There was constantly uncontrollable distress and discomfort over my head, So I decided to refuge in the bed and in organizing my room while girls played in the garden. After the Honey Moon, today Olivia and Kalina tasted the Bitter Moon. Like all the couples Olivia and Kalina today had their first day clashing.

In the evening Justyna cheered me up with a Hot Dogs meal, of course this dog was vegetarian, I did not resist to add all the typical sauces, like years ago.

Now I will go to do meditation, to see if it helps me to calm down.

Jumping high

After few weeks of missing the Reiki, today I had again another session, it was 45 minutes of relaxing and give another opportunity for healing, But of course what I enjoy the most in this is when I reach the half way between the conscious and half unconscious state.

Throughout the day I was busy dealing with different matters with Hospital, I have my appointment for the dermatology this Friday, to show my skin problem in the scalp and in the groins, as they look very ugly, I also should do this Friday the decisive blood test to see if I can carry on on this pills. I also cancelled my appointment with the surgeon for the next week as it is pointless to go and see the doctor, Never in this World the doctors would do an operation on me, and I do not need more distress from just listening all that again.

Olivia is still in the honey moon with her friend Kalina, they past half day together, trying to see who is jumping higher.

Eastern friends

The good days are still continuing, I enjoyed my day between the charity shop and my garden.Today Olivia had also a lot reasons to be happy, her little friend Kalina came back to the nursery from her holidays in Bulgaria. After nursery we invited her to come to our home. It was lovely to see them catching up all the funny plays. They spent a lot of time jumping in the trampoline and in the swing.

I had just now and finally finished the book A Woman of No Importance, from Oscar Wild, it has been in stand by since the bad news overshadowed my Life again in the last weeks, but slowly we are finding again the importance of the real things.

 

Electricity machine

I wish the clock could stop, the days have been so good for us, that we almost forgot this reality, without tears and sadness. I do not know if it is the pills or the Sun, but something is going on, I am feeling much better in the last two days. Not only me but more Olivia, I am sure she missed this father, silly, joyful and enjoying most of the minutes.

We had a busy morning, split between the church and our trampoline. In the trampoline we found its real use, not to jump but to rest and incredibly also to discharge electricity from our bodies, this because of the Static electricity.

We went to a park looking for a pool, but we found the big paddle pool dried, it was a bit disappointing, probably more for me than for Olivia, I was prepared with my swimming suit, but I will need to leave it for the next time.

A day as I wished

Often I go to bed and I ask to have again a good day. So today I experienced again that good day, It had everything, I was busy all day what made me forget about pains and moans. I worked in the morning in the charity shop, while Olivia went with mother to her friend's birthday party. After I finished my day in the Noah's Ark I run to the charity shop where Justyna works to pick up Olivia, because we had another meeting, this time in Sue's allotment. I knew that Olivia would enjoy to play and dig in the ground. Sue was very patient with Oli and me, I am sure she did not do all that she planed because of us being around :) Myself of course sat in the best bench under a tree shade and enjoyed the smells and noises of the countryside, this until I've been surprised by a rabbit who did not expected to see me in that lost spot. But the busiest small girl in Barnet later went to meet also another friend, Madeleine.

The day was not finished without the surprising visit of John and Mike, It was great to see them again and go to watch the football in the pub, All things that makes worth to be here today. 

Begging

The feelings after our visit to the Hospital are mixed, As you know I have a life threatening condition, but now I have also a life threatening situation over the medicine that aims to treat my life threatening condition. Confuse, I know, but I will explain. To help me to carry on in fighting the disease I do need to take the drug Everlimus, and I see it as almost my last refuge and chance to overcome this sentence. But as you know there is not such a thing as a picture completely rosy, so now this medicine brought my blood platelets levels very low, I guess my Bone Marrow is screaming for some rest. Next week I should check again and if the levels drop even further down it is very likely that I need to either reduced the dose, to pause it or simply stop, it is a case to tell bloody blood platelets. There is always something, if I was not experiencing it myself, for sure I would not believe in all this. I begged to the Oncologist to continue the treatment in spite of everything, eventually taking over my shoulders the responsibility of any consequences, I think they were sympathetic to my words but I am not sure if open.

But I did say that we come out from the appointment with mixed feelings, this because today most of the time I was with the head nurse Philippa and she was very positive and with always an uplifting word, even if my experience often do not let me go with easy words.

After all the morning in the Hospital, outside we enjoyed our tea and coffee and of course a long walk through the woods of the Hampstead, The trees from this park already tasted for more than once my tears, I promise that I will pay them back one day with a great smile, not with wooden face.

#I also hate Fridays#

The Sun is now fustigating the country, It is almost a case to tell that people complain when is cold and also when is hot. I think with so many years in England I already got used to this grey weather and to be honest I do prefer that colour. This morning I went to the GP to look for help regarding a big infection in my scalp, I think I will need to wait for an appointment with the Dermatologist to see if there is anything that can be done to calm this fungus. Afterwards, I went to my Art class, shame that the term is close to the end, two more class and we are on holidays. I am scare of that, as this means I will not draw or paint for a long period, through the holidays. I should have the habit of painting at home, but there is always an excuse to not to pick up the brushes.

This afternoon Olivia had the visit of her friend Jean, they looked very sweet playing and painting and speaking in Portuguese melody.

Tomorrow is the end of the week again. Before, the perspective of Friday was enough to make me a very happy man, but nowadays this means Oncology clinic and more bad news and distress. I could find here a thousand reasons to hate Fridays.

End of the Afro style

Today ended up my Afro hair style, I could not cut my hair before because of an infection that has been quite bad and did not allow me to put the machine in the hair. It still did not cure but at least was less inflamed. Cutting my hair I believe I lost some of my charisma, but it will help me to cope with the heat, if this could be an issue here :) Today also for the first time the girls from home dressed their summery clothes, and even convinced me in the afternoon to take out my traditional outfit, shirt and jumper that went with me through all the Winter, and instead to dress a t-shirt. This was quite brave from me.

In the evening we had an invitation for a fish meal in Sue and Denis' house, Olivia discovered where are all their games and now whenever she goes there she goes straight to the cupboard and help herself.

New face

 ;

http://www.heldera.blogspot.co.uk/
The time flies, the blog that I have been compiling already for almost four years, the same years as the disease have been disturbing and changing completely my Life, has now reached its storage limit. It was 1GB of big emotions, Big but not enough to store the whole stories of my Life. I knew this fight would not be easy but to be honest I thought 4 years would be enough to have taught the Life, but no, I am still busy.

The old blog will still be available in the same click http://www.heldera.blogspot.co.uk/,
but the new one where I will share my achievements and frustrations will be in the http://www.heldera2.blogspot.co.uk/

For coincidence or not the new blog born on the first day of summery weather here in Barnet, The Sun finally decided to show up after long time away, and Olivia run to the beach, while I stole the trampoline for my nap, The pills probably are attacking now, as I had a day of full tiredness, with all the muscles in pain, reminded me when I have flu. Hopefully the pills are also attacking the disease :)

I had always a big attraction for the fire, even once I almost set up fire to my house in Portugal, the same silly thing I did today, but in the garden, the idea was to sit down everyone around the fire but only ended up with a big dark patch in the middle of the grass, but at least with the shape of a heart.