Begging

The feelings after our visit to the Hospital are mixed, As you know I have a life threatening condition, but now I have also a life threatening situation over the medicine that aims to treat my life threatening condition. Confuse, I know, but I will explain. To help me to carry on in fighting the disease I do need to take the drug Everlimus, and I see it as almost my last refuge and chance to overcome this sentence. But as you know there is not such a thing as a picture completely rosy, so now this medicine brought my blood platelets levels very low, I guess my Bone Marrow is screaming for some rest. Next week I should check again and if the levels drop even further down it is very likely that I need to either reduced the dose, to pause it or simply stop, it is a case to tell bloody blood platelets. There is always something, if I was not experiencing it myself, for sure I would not believe in all this. I begged to the Oncologist to continue the treatment in spite of everything, eventually taking over my shoulders the responsibility of any consequences, I think they were sympathetic to my words but I am not sure if open.

But I did say that we come out from the appointment with mixed feelings, this because today most of the time I was with the head nurse Philippa and she was very positive and with always an uplifting word, even if my experience often do not let me go with easy words.

After all the morning in the Hospital, outside we enjoyed our tea and coffee and of course a long walk through the woods of the Hampstead, The trees from this park already tasted for more than once my tears, I promise that I will pay them back one day with a great smile, not with wooden face.